Surro Saturday! – Rylan

Its Surro Saturday again! Please enjoy this guest post that Rylan took the time to write up for us.

 

“It’s hard to pinpoint a beginning of my surrogacy journey. It may have been a book. The fictional book was written from the perspective of a woman who vowed to do something “good” each day for a year.
I loved the idea behind the story, but not the writing execution. It did inspire me. I set out a plan for my own year long social experiment. My plan was to complete 365 random acts of kindness over thr next year. They must, whenever possible, be anonymous and never include the demand or expectation for the recipient to “pay it forward”. It was to be kindness for kindness sake alone.
This social experiment is NOT why I became a surrogate. Yet, this social experiment changed and grew me in all kinds of ways I had not for seen.
When thinking of doing something for someone I no longer considered personal gain. The idea that I was in a place to judge who was “deserving” of kindness and love fled.
So when I rediscovered surrogacy in 2015 my only thought was “I can’t imagine why not”.

Surrogacy is not a call for everyone. I am deeply grateful that I am called to it.

I met my first set of Intended Parents in the early autumn of 2015. At first their mature age was a surprise for me. I was quickly able to see that the number of trips around the sun one takes is in no way related to our hearts desires and ability to love and care for precious life.

A uterine polyp was discovered during my screening process. Routine surgery took care of it perfectly, yet did result in a more stretched out time line than we had hoped for.

Family Day of 2016 I was to board a flight to BC for our embryo transfer procedure. Considering the extremely mild winter we had been experiencing, the snow storm that hit that morning took everyone by surprise. Traffic jams at 4am, delayed flights, over booked flights, cancelled flights, missed flights. My husband and I spent 30 hours in airports trying desperately to make our appointment at the fertility clinic the following morning.
Through the sheer grace of God and the beautiful heart of an unknown, off duty flight attendant we indeed did *just* make our appointment time. It was high stress travel that still did not manage to go as planned for our return trip home.
Two weeks later, breaking the news to C and K that the cycle had failed was incredibly difficult. In all honestly though, none of us were surprised considering the stress.

In April we were able to once again fly to BC for a second embryo transfer. We hit no traffic. The flights were on time. We knew where we were going. The hotel staff were very accommodating. I felt hopeful and positive about this transfer.
And I had reason to! On Mothers day I was able to send C a photo of my blood work confirming the pregnancy!

This was my easiest pregnancy. My morning sickness was ever present, but not crippling like it was with my biological children. I gained no weight but baby kept growing perfectly (when one is married to a pastry chef she often has a few pounds she would be happy to see vanish- as is my case).

Without incessant morning sickness I had more energy this pregnancy than any before. I was able to stay on top of running a home daycare, home schooling both my children and starting up a new business venture from the ground up.

I craved green grapes. Once my husband brought me home red grapes from the grocery store, figuring grapes were grapes. Pregnancy cravings disagreed!! That mistake was not made twice

Having never been a surrogate before I did question how I would *actually* feel about handing over this tiny person to her parents after delivery. I knew how I was called to feel. I knew how I wanted to feel, but I wasn’t sure if it would work out that way.

I loved to keep C and K on top of all new developments. They delighted in new ultrasound photos, or hearing about scent aversions or my food cravings.
The depth of our relationship grew over those months. It was so fascinating to develop this completely unique relationship with people who would be complete strangers to us if I were not growing their daughter.

Due to geographical distance we did not get to meet C and K in person until a few days before my due date. They were warm and happy people who were so excited and nervous about the stage to come.

Labour finally started four days past due in the evening.
Come the morning my husband and I took our children to a family members home for care. Then off we went to the hospital.
Upon arrival I was asked to don a gown and wait to be checked. But, four days past due, baby was done with waiting. She kicked twice. The second time breaking my water. The vomiting was immediate from that point. I was moved into a delivery room and received the blessing of an epidural.
There we sat, for the next six hours, my husband and I with C and K. I was fully dialiated and ready to deliver within moments of receiving my epidural. But since the only OBGYN on staff in the hospital that day was caught up in back to back to back emergency c sections, we waited.
C and K wanted to be in the delivery room, but requested to not watch the delivery. A curtain room divider was the ideal solution.
Baby M was delivered smoothly and without complication. She was immediately brought to her parents for skin on skin contact.

I never felt more powerful in my whole life. I felt strong. And useful. I felt uplifted.
And I felt joy and relief to realize that watching that child be delivered into the arms of already in love parents was not difficult at all. It felt exactly right. It felt like the strongest example of loving ones neighbour as oneself as I could imagine.

And I can hardly wait to do it again.”

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source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/surro-saturday-rylan/