This is a guest post from of the Surrogates with ANU. Her name is Jennifer and she just had her surro-baby recently. Please enjoy!
“When our youngest was a couple of years old, my husband and I had the talk about whether we were done building our family. With having 3 kids and our youngest having a fatal genetic disease, we decided that our family is complete. As many women do though, I still had the urge to be pregnant again.
Surrogacy has always been in the back of my mind, especially after watching a friend be a surrogate 3 times. I hadn’t really researched it other than asking her questions and doing a quick Google search though. I met Lorraine at a local tradeshow and decided that it was an opportune time to get more information. We talked for a short while and Lorraine agreed to send me an information package. I awaited that email eagerly. It didn’t take long for it to come in and I read the whole information package in one sitting. I did have a few more questions but once they were answered, I decided that this was something I would like to try. Why not “scratch the itch” for me wanting to be pregnant while helping someone in need?
Unfortunately, when I approached my husband with the idea, he instantly said no. He wasn’t interested in learning more about it and he just wasn’t comfortable with the idea of me being a surrogate. Surrogacy would just not leave my mind though so a few weeks later I asked my husband if he would be willing to at least read the information package so we could discuss this further. He agreed. I sat beside him on the couch while he read through the booklet. He looked at me and said he still wasn’t comfortable with it. The idea of me being pregnant with someone else’s child was very strange for him and he was obviously concerned about the risks associated with the medications and the pregnancy. We spent a couple of hours talking through his concerns and he finally looked at me and asked if this is something that I’d really like to do. I told him it was so he agreed to support me in this journey. He also said that if it stops me from bugging him to have more babies of our own, then it might be a good idea! Typical man thought, hey?
So, we started the process. December 2015, I had my profile completed and sent off to the ladies at ANU. Within a week or two, Lorraine told me that she had a wonderful couple in mind for me and I met with V & N over the telephone shortly after that. To say it was an easy conversation was an understatement. I mean, “so can I have your baby?” is not a good conversation starter. Luckily Lorraine was on the call with us to help keep the conversation going and to help answer questions for the both of us. We agreed to work together and I met with V & N over Skype shortly after that as well.
Within the next couple of months my husband and I went through all of the screening process. There was bloodwork to be done by both of us and all of my medical history had to be sent to the fertility clinic. My husband and I also attended a counselling session with the fertility clinic over Skype. This was an easy appointment and the counsellor just wanted to make sure we understood what we were getting into and that I had support to go through this journey. In February 2016 I began a dummy cycle to see how my body would react to the medication that is needed in a surrogacy. My body reacted great to the medication but unfortunately, they found an ovarian cyst during the ultrasound that they wanted to have removed before we went forward with the surrogacy.
This was just a bump in the road of our journey though and surgery went well. I was cleared to proceed with the surrogacy in the fall of 2016. I started meds and we set the date! At the end of October 2016, I flew to BC to go for my transfer. I was so nervous. As I was sitting in the waiting room before the procedure, my mind was racing. Am I making the right decision to be a surrogate? Is this something I really want to do? Is this procedure going to hurt? What if it doesn’t work? What if I can’t handle being a surrogate? They called me in. Even with all of my anxiety creeping up, I knew I needed to just go through with it. The transfer didn’t hurt at all and the staff were all wonderful. They made me feel much more at ease and we were done within minutes. After some relaxation and further instructions, I went and had lunch with a friend and went back to my hotel room for the night. I flew home the next day and had to “patiently” wait 2 weeks until I was sent for bloodwork to confirm the pregnancy.
I had no symptoms. I didn’t feel pregnant. I also wasn’t patient and decided to take a home pregnancy test around a week later. That little red line was barely visible but it was there! I was so excited but didn’t want to tell my IPs yet, just in case. I peed on that stick every day and was so happy to see it darken. I went for my 2 week bloodwork and just as I had expected, it came back showing that I was pregnant. My IPs were ecstatic but I had to wait until the next set of bloodwork 2 days later for an official pregnancy announcement. It came back showing that I was indeed pregnant and we could plan for this pregnancy. My IPs were excited but I could tell they were nervous. I knew that until they held that baby in their arms, there always would be that “what if”.
The pregnancy went ahead uncomplicated. The first trimester was a little rough on me because of the medication. It wasn’t as bad as many women have it though but I just found that I couldn’t eat what I usually did and craved lots of fruits and veggies. It all calmed down once I was done all of the medications in the second trimester. Throughout this whole time I always spoke to my IPs at least once a week, sometimes more. I always wanted to keep them updated on how I was doing and how baby was moving (once I felt him). Unfortunately, due to the distance of my IPs, they weren’t able to attend any of the prenatal appointments or ultrasounds but I always sent them pictures and updates after every appointment. However, we were able to Skype the gender reveal ultrasound and they got to find out live that they were having a little boy! They told me that doing that made it more real for them. I couldn’t imagine how they must have felt, letting a complete stranger grow their child in a completely different country. They had many questions throughout the pregnancy and I tried to reassure them as much as I could.
As we entered the third trimester, it was time to start planning my IPs arrival in Canada. Obviously this was all for them to do but it was exciting. After so long, we were finally getting to this point in the journey. Months turned to weeks. Weeks turned into days. I got the message that they were about to board the plane to Canada. I was excited but I was even more nervous. I was finally going to meet these people that I have been talking to for over a year but what was I going to say to them? Should I hug them? How should I act around them? They arrived quite late so we met the next day. It all came so natural when I met them. We hugged and I tried not to cry. There were a few awkward silences but overall we had plenty to talk about. We spent all afternoon together and made plans to meet up again once they were fully settled and had gotten some sleep. Their son had different plans though…
The very next day I started having cramps. Not abnormal as I had them the whole week before my youngest daughter was born so I figured it meant he was coming soon. By dinner time, those cramps had turned into contractions and I began to monitor them. They went on all night. By 2 am they were 10 minutes apart but I didn’t want to start waking people up until they were below 10 minutes so I waited. I’m glad I did because they went back up to about 20 minutes apart and stayed that way all morning. At least everyone else could get some sleep. At about 4 am, I sent my IPs a message letting them know I was having contractions but it was not time to go to the hospital. My IF responded, which I later learned he was actually having trouble sleeping that night because he just had a feeling something was going to happen that night, and I kept them in the loop until I decided it was time to go to the hospital at around 9 am.
My midwife checked me shortly after we all arrived at the hospital and I was 7 cm dilated. She let me labour as I wanted and was there for me when I decided it was time to push. Both of my IPs stayed in the room while I pushed; my IF sat back to give me some privacy but my IM sat beside me and held my hand. Shortly after lunch, Baby L was born healthy and crying. His mom got to watch as he was born and cut his cord.
Watching my IPs hold their brand new baby boy was the most amazing feeling. The joy in their eyes and the smiles on their faces is exactly why I did this. I’m blessed that they chose me to be a part of their journey and I’m excited to have made lifelong friends with these amazing people.”
The post Guest Post – Surrogate Jennifer appeared first on ANU Fertility Consultants.
source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/guest-post-surrogate-jennifer/
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