Doulas & Why they are Important! – Guest Post

Catherine Catherall is a Doula who is also a surrogate. She is very experienced as a birth doula and I requested her to write up a guest about Doulas, what they do and why they play such an important role in birth. Please enjoy her insight.

“At the beginning of July my son was in a motorcycle accident. We were taken to see him in the trauma room. Now I have been in our local emergency room a few times with my children over the years. Our last visit there was for a bead up our littlest ones nose. It was no big deal. They explained to use what they were going to do and it was all smooth sailing. For my sons motorcycle accident I felt so incredibly lost and scared. I have not been in a trauma room with anything major before this. There was lots going on and people coming and going using words I didn’t know. I was scared. Then a nurse I know walked in. I burst into tears! Why? Because she was a familiar face to me. As soon as I saw her I felt incredible relief! I knew things were going to be ok. Was she actually going to make things okay? Heck no. But seeing a face in the crowds that I knew and trusted meant so much to me and calmed me right down. I got thinking about that later after all the dust settled. Just by SEEING someone I know, I felt better. She didn’t explain anything to me, she didn’t even stay the whole time. But she did give me a hug, which no one else had done. And I wouldn’t expect nurses to go around randomly hugging people. (though it might be nice!). I would have paid for someone I knew to be right there beside me explaining what is going on. Truly. A trauma doula if you will.

It made me realize that doulas are actually MORE important then I even realized! Usually birth is somewhat predictable. But sometimes things go sideways and the staff do not explain what is going on because they’re busy doing things. As a doula I always ask if the partner understands what is going on. Often if things happen quickly they get scared and maybe don’t even know what questions to ask! That is where I can help. I can usually explain who the people are, who is coming in the room (NICU staff, obstetricians, etc) so at least they know who is in the room. And because I have attended just about 100 births, I can also explain quite often what is going on and help them to ask questions if they need clarification on anything. Having that familiar face in the room can be so reassuring!

So who hires a doula? I have doula-ed for first time moms, fourth time moms, home births, planned cesareans, those who have chosen adoption for their baby, surrogates and many other scenarios. Often the partner is not totally on board for having a doula. I mean why can’t they be the doula? Well I will tell you why. Dads/partners are amazing people! There is no doubt about it but how many of them have been to a birth before? Not many. A doula can explain that when the birthing person says “I am done! I am going home!”, she doesn’t actually want to go home… she is probably in transition and that is a good thing! I often send the partner to rest or get some food if the labour is longer. If there is no partner I can be that sole support to the mom and help her with comfort measures, changing positions and whatever else she may need. I have gone in the operating room in place of the dad a couple of times now where the dad just knew they would not do well in that situation. I have supported surrogates and made sure they were not left all alone once the baby was born and the IPs were with the baby bonding. Basically anyone who is pregnant can benefit from the support of a doula.

What does a doula do? That varies for sure! During pregnancy it’s providing information, getting to know my clients and how they see the birth going, supporting them during labour and delivery with comfort measures, information, things like getting water and extra pillows. Postpartum it’s helping with breastfeeding, helping with local resources, answering questions, etc. There is evidence based information on doulas being a part of someone’s birth team for sure! One dad told me “You don’t know how much you need a doula, until after”. Once you actually experience what we can do to help, then you get it. So if you are expecting or planning a pregnancy, look into doulas!”

“Christine Catherall is a birth doula, postpartum doula, childbirth educator, infant sleep educator, Evidence Based Birth instructor and owner of Central Alberta Doulas. She has been supporting families in Red Deer and Central Alberta since 2012. You can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/CentralAlbertaDoulas/ and her website is www.Centralalbertadoulas.com”

The post Doulas & Why they are Important! – Guest Post appeared first on ANU Fertility Consultants.

source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/doulas-important-guest-post/

Retreats for our Surrogates & Egg Donors

Being a part of ANU has been so incredibly fun for me! One big perk (well, its a big perk imo) is the retreats offered for the surro’s & egg donors. Every year, there is one for the BC ladies, AB ladies & ON ladies. Typically, they’re done in the Summer. Can you imagine asking pregnant women high on hormones to go on a retreat in -30C weather? while comical maybe, not practical.

This year, the BC retreat is the weekend of Aug 11-13 being hosted in Harrison Hot Springs. It includes an essential oils class AND a meal prepared by a Masterchef Canada finalist! It sounds like so much fun to me.

The AB retreat is the weekend of Aug 25-27 and being hosted in Sylvan Lake. I know the activities being planned will include lots of laughter!

I can’t wait!

The ON retreat is still TBD.

The post Retreats for our Surrogates & Egg Donors appeared first on ANU Fertility Consultants.

source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/retreats-surrogates-egg-donors/

Surro Saturday! – Rylan

Its Surro Saturday again! Please enjoy this guest post that Rylan took the time to write up for us.

 

“It’s hard to pinpoint a beginning of my surrogacy journey. It may have been a book. The fictional book was written from the perspective of a woman who vowed to do something “good” each day for a year.
I loved the idea behind the story, but not the writing execution. It did inspire me. I set out a plan for my own year long social experiment. My plan was to complete 365 random acts of kindness over thr next year. They must, whenever possible, be anonymous and never include the demand or expectation for the recipient to “pay it forward”. It was to be kindness for kindness sake alone.
This social experiment is NOT why I became a surrogate. Yet, this social experiment changed and grew me in all kinds of ways I had not for seen.
When thinking of doing something for someone I no longer considered personal gain. The idea that I was in a place to judge who was “deserving” of kindness and love fled.
So when I rediscovered surrogacy in 2015 my only thought was “I can’t imagine why not”.

Surrogacy is not a call for everyone. I am deeply grateful that I am called to it.

I met my first set of Intended Parents in the early autumn of 2015. At first their mature age was a surprise for me. I was quickly able to see that the number of trips around the sun one takes is in no way related to our hearts desires and ability to love and care for precious life.

A uterine polyp was discovered during my screening process. Routine surgery took care of it perfectly, yet did result in a more stretched out time line than we had hoped for.

Family Day of 2016 I was to board a flight to BC for our embryo transfer procedure. Considering the extremely mild winter we had been experiencing, the snow storm that hit that morning took everyone by surprise. Traffic jams at 4am, delayed flights, over booked flights, cancelled flights, missed flights. My husband and I spent 30 hours in airports trying desperately to make our appointment at the fertility clinic the following morning.
Through the sheer grace of God and the beautiful heart of an unknown, off duty flight attendant we indeed did *just* make our appointment time. It was high stress travel that still did not manage to go as planned for our return trip home.
Two weeks later, breaking the news to C and K that the cycle had failed was incredibly difficult. In all honestly though, none of us were surprised considering the stress.

In April we were able to once again fly to BC for a second embryo transfer. We hit no traffic. The flights were on time. We knew where we were going. The hotel staff were very accommodating. I felt hopeful and positive about this transfer.
And I had reason to! On Mothers day I was able to send C a photo of my blood work confirming the pregnancy!

This was my easiest pregnancy. My morning sickness was ever present, but not crippling like it was with my biological children. I gained no weight but baby kept growing perfectly (when one is married to a pastry chef she often has a few pounds she would be happy to see vanish- as is my case).

Without incessant morning sickness I had more energy this pregnancy than any before. I was able to stay on top of running a home daycare, home schooling both my children and starting up a new business venture from the ground up.

I craved green grapes. Once my husband brought me home red grapes from the grocery store, figuring grapes were grapes. Pregnancy cravings disagreed!! That mistake was not made twice

Having never been a surrogate before I did question how I would *actually* feel about handing over this tiny person to her parents after delivery. I knew how I was called to feel. I knew how I wanted to feel, but I wasn’t sure if it would work out that way.

I loved to keep C and K on top of all new developments. They delighted in new ultrasound photos, or hearing about scent aversions or my food cravings.
The depth of our relationship grew over those months. It was so fascinating to develop this completely unique relationship with people who would be complete strangers to us if I were not growing their daughter.

Due to geographical distance we did not get to meet C and K in person until a few days before my due date. They were warm and happy people who were so excited and nervous about the stage to come.

Labour finally started four days past due in the evening.
Come the morning my husband and I took our children to a family members home for care. Then off we went to the hospital.
Upon arrival I was asked to don a gown and wait to be checked. But, four days past due, baby was done with waiting. She kicked twice. The second time breaking my water. The vomiting was immediate from that point. I was moved into a delivery room and received the blessing of an epidural.
There we sat, for the next six hours, my husband and I with C and K. I was fully dialiated and ready to deliver within moments of receiving my epidural. But since the only OBGYN on staff in the hospital that day was caught up in back to back to back emergency c sections, we waited.
C and K wanted to be in the delivery room, but requested to not watch the delivery. A curtain room divider was the ideal solution.
Baby M was delivered smoothly and without complication. She was immediately brought to her parents for skin on skin contact.

I never felt more powerful in my whole life. I felt strong. And useful. I felt uplifted.
And I felt joy and relief to realize that watching that child be delivered into the arms of already in love parents was not difficult at all. It felt exactly right. It felt like the strongest example of loving ones neighbour as oneself as I could imagine.

And I can hardly wait to do it again.”

The post Surro Saturday! – Rylan appeared first on ANU Fertility Consultants.

source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/surro-saturday-rylan/

Summer Recipes

I live in Edmonton, AB, Canada and it is our summertime. My background, is mennonite. I have such fond memories of growing up in a small (lets be real, tiny is more accurate) mennonite town! If there is one thing mennonites know about, its cooking. Cooking & baking. The food is so darn good. Its probably why my hips are rather voluptuous.

One of my favorite mennonite summer recipes is something called Rollkuchen. If you pronounce it in plain english, your saying it wrong. You have to roll the “R” and the “ch” makes a throaty cue sound. It is something that is typically eaten with Watermelon and since its Summer, Watermelon is a very popular meal in our home. Its cool, refreshing and packed with Vitamin C and Iron – both important for kids!  Its essentially a deep fried dough, nothing fancy. You eat the rollkuchen & watermelon together and it tastes absolutely divine.

If you feel inventive, some women stuff the rollkuchen with jams, fruits, chocolate sauce…kind of like making your own elephant ears at home. With leftover Rollkuchen, you can place them in a bag for overnight storing and toast them in the toaster the next morning. Slather them in PB&J and you’ve got yourself an awesome tasting slice of “toast”!

Another summer favorite of my family is a Balsamic Vinaigrette. My husband & kids love salad in the summer. Its both cool and refreshing and chock full of veggies. However, I’m quite picky about my dressings and frankly, finding a good balsamic vinaigrette is not easy. So I make my own! Its thick, tasty, not too sweet or tart and adds that pop of flavor into a greek salad or a simple house salad.

Today, I am sharing both of those recipes with you. I sincerely hope that if you try them, that they are as enjoyable for you and your family as they are to mine. <3

Rollkuchen
3 cups Flour
2 tsp Salt
1 tsp Baking Powder
*You will also need milk, egs, margarine & 1 liter oil (veggie, corn, canola..you pick).

Place oil into a large pot & heat up to 375F. Mix flour, salt & baking powder in a bowl. Add 6 tbsp melted margarine. Beat 2 eggs well and put them into a cup (a coffee mug is perfect). Fill the cup up with milk. Add the eggs/milk mixture into the flour. Mix well! Add flour until you reach the desired consistancy (not sticky, but not too firm either). Using a rolling pin, roll out into a thin layer of dough (about 1/8″ to 1/4″ thick). Cut into squares (4″x4″ is a good size). Place cut pieces into the hot oil, brown lightly on both sides. Remove & Enjoy! Some of them may puff up or remain flat.

Balsamic Vinaigrette
1/2 cup Oil (I use extra virgin olive oil)
1/4 cup Balsamic Vinegar
1 tsp honey (or corn syrup)
1 tsp Dijon, Honey OR Reg Mustard
1 tsp Onion Powder
1/2 tsp Garlic Powder
Salt & Pepper to taste (I use minimal salt and loads of pepper)

Mix all ingredients well and place in a jar/container for storage in the fridge. This vinaigrette usually takes quite a while to seperate. It also tends to be a bit on the thicker side. But super yummy!

The post Summer Recipes appeared first on ANU Fertility Consultants.

source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/summer-recipes/

Please Enjoy Some Funny Surro Memes

Today has been an off day in my house, and as such, my brain is drawing a blank on what todays post should be about. So please excuse my laziness today!   I hope you get a good laugh at some of these surrogacy/parenting memes.

The post Please Enjoy Some Funny Surro Memes appeared first on ANU Fertility Consultants.

source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/please-enjoy-funny-surro-memes/

Sand. So Much Sand.

Any parent who has experienced the joys (AKA: HELL) that is sand, will hopefully either benefit from my post or sit back in your chair, laughing at me. Either way, I hope it serves a purpose!

My own childhood is filled with fond memories of sand castles, building tracks for my cars to drive on, mud pies, lots of digging and playing with fun machines that were specific for sandboxes. I loved playing in the sand. I would spend hours upon hours unleashing my imagination, fully utilizing every sand particle within my reach!

Then I became a mom.

Sand went from being a heavenly sensory play material to my absolute worst nightmare!

My kids see sand think “WOOHOO! Sandcastles mom!” and suddenly, they are laying in the sand, full body, digging holes in the sand with their heads or, they do what my 3yo does and strips down to her pullup, lays down, covers herself in sand and throws it in the air. Cause thats a good idea.

Why do I hate this? Let me tell you. My kids are part Jamaican. My youngest daughter has that thick, curly, hair that mats easily. It is a graveyard for sand. Washing her hair after a day in sand takes FOREVER and we both hate the process. It usually ends in tears. Sometimes she cries too.

My oldest two? Oh yea, sand is great. Throwing it, burying themselves or friends, trying to do handstands in the sand, you name it. Sand finds its way into orifices it really shouldn’t make its home. They love every second and I begin to shake thinking of what my evening is going to entail and how I’m going to avoid getting sand all over my van (cause vehicle carpet is so damn easy to clean *NOT*) and sand in their car seats…cause thats comfortable. *eye roll*.

Having had way more sand experiences recently than I’d like to admit, I’ve learned a few things along the way. Here are a couple pro-tips. If you have more tips, I’d LOVE to hear them!!

TIPS
1. Buy a huge pack of water bottles from Costco for cheap. Then, before the kids get in the vehicle, use a bottle for each kid and wash them off gently. Including their feet!
2. Dust their clothes off (is this obvious? Yes…to you maybe. Apparently, It wasn’t to me. LOL). Or better yet, bring clean spare clothes and just change them before anyone gets in the vehicle.
3. Bring lots of safeway bags (with no holes) to shove everything with sand on it, into. This helps avoid sand all over the vehicle.
4. Once you come home from your outing, fill up the kiddie pool (if you have one) or turn on the sprinkler and let your kids run through. Its like a pre-wash before bath time. It does help reduce the amount of sand tracked through your house and left in your tub!
5. When washing your child’s hair in the shower, shampoo it as usual, condition it…then brush it!! Brush it while conditioner is in it!! Why? Because it straightens the hair all out easily and removes all the “traps” for the sand. When you rinse their hair, the sand comes out wayyy easier and much faster!
6. Keep one of those tiny brooms & dustpans in your vehicle during the summer. Brush all your equipment off before putting it all into your vehicle.
7. Just avoid going anywhere with sand. My best tip!

What are some things you do to avoid finding sand all over your house for weeks on end?

The post Sand. So Much Sand. appeared first on ANU Fertility Consultants.

source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/sand-much-sand/

Hormones, Heartburn & Hemorrhoids…OH MY!

Us surrogates & egg donors go through many discomforts that come along with pregnancy and having our ovaries bursting at the seams with eggs for retrieval. 24 eggs, the egg donors dozen!

While we love being surrogates & egg donors, don’t kid yourself, we have had our own (sometimes hilarious) experiences with it. Please enjoy some of the confessions that surrogates and egg donors have been so sweet to share with me. I laughed pretty hard at some of these, I hope you get as much entertainment from them as I did.

 

“I became a surrogate because I was unfulfilled by the lack of excitement from my own partner over our natural children. I wanted to vicariously live through people who would be thrilled about the baby I was carrying for them.”

“every time I need to pee I think ‘ I should have bought more tests!”

“I boiled a crochet hook to sterilize it and used sterile gloves I had acquired from a hosp to try and break my own water. I could reach my cervix with my hand, but I just couldn’t get the hook anywhere near where it needed to be. Needless to say, it didn’t work!”

“I’m excited to not to have to stay up nursing a newborn and listening to my IPs tell me how tiring their first days as new parents are”

“after big meals I look in the mirror and stick my ‘food baby’ out and look at my husband and say ‘I MUST be pregnant! Look at this stomach’. He kindly reminds me that there’s no way a little embryo would be the size of my supper that night… men “

“I enjoy pregnancy, labour and birth but I don’t want anymore of my own children. I found a pretty cool way to satisfy this desire.”

“During my surrogate pregnancy, my farts got so bad that some nights, my husband slept with an actual gas mask on. According to him it was the only solution for survival.”

“The best thing about surrogacy is helping grow/make a family and watching these people become parents. I never understood why I enjoyed being pregnant until I became a surrogate!“

“While going through screening I logically knew nothing should come up, I was worried results would show something I was unaware of.”

“There were days near the end where I skipped my PIO because I just couldn’t take the thought of another.“

“Traveling for transfer was suppose to be a break from my kids. Instead I ended up bringing them with me”

“Those pregnancy hormones do a lot of things to you. MAke you feel up and down. For me, OMG my sex drive was CRAZZZYYY. I felt I could not get enough of sex and foreplay and was always horny.“

“I spent nearly $300 trying to induce labor. I was done.“

“My surrogacy journey was the only time I was excited to have morning sickness and constipation.”

“I wish I could have breastfed in the hospital to kick start my milk production. Exclusively pumping is hard and maintaining a supply without a baby is even more difficult.“

“My siblings and in laws don’t know I was a surrogate“

“Never thought I would gain friends from this experience that would become like family.“

“I feared going for my ultrasound recently. I knew they shouldn’t find a baby already on ultrasound but I had been sexually active. I mean I knew I shouldn’t be pregnant but WHAT IF. NOW, I’m stressing. Like am I the only one who fears ultrasounds and all the things they COULD find. What if…”

“My husbands favorite thing was to tell everyone that his wife was knocked up…and it wasn’t his. Then he would sit & watch their reactions. For fun.”

“I felt the IF wasn’t onboard with the whole journey and that the IM forced him through everything and even the week the baby was born he didn’t fly in until 2 days before the scheduled c section and the IM was here for a week and a half. She was excited but she tried to “cheap” out on everything“

“Having to fly to another province for the transfer was a mini vacation for me. I visited friends, went sight-seeing, and ordered room service at the hotel. It was a nice break from my kids.“

“I never had hemorrhoids with my own kids, however, I had mild ones after the 1st journey and mild to medium with 2nd journey. I had no clue how to handle this.”

“I stole the hook [for breaking the water] from the maternity ward but couldn’t get to through the cervix!”

“When I signed up to be a surrogate I thought it would be easy with no issues. It turned out be harder on my body than I thought it would be.”

 

The post Hormones, Heartburn & Hemorrhoids…OH MY! appeared first on ANU Fertility Consultants.

source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/hormones-heartburn-hemorrhoids-oh/