Ask, Don’t Assume!

Yesterday evening I was pondering what todays post might be. I have a guest post I could potentially put up and a few draft posts in waiting…but I had a conversation with a friend and it was a lengthy one. I asked her permission to post about the topic we discussed, its an important one.

ASSUMING.

How many times has someone cancelled an event with you? A playdate? Babysitting services? Was your first thought “Did I say something wrong?” or maybe your first thought was “But why? Am I that hard to be around?”

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: It’s not you!

I’m a mom of three. At any given moment, one of my children is screaming “MOM!”
– He took a toy from me
– She hit me
– He won’t play with me
– She ran over my toes
and so on and so forth. If I’m in the middle of a conversation, in person or through an electronic device, the conversation stops. I’m sure some of my friends have wondered if I have turrets on occasion. There are constant interruptions in a day, and not always from children. Gracious, I’m drowning in laundry, I have to make 3 meals a day for my family, my floors need cleaning and goodness knows I have a family of dust bunnies under all my furniture. Just because our conversation stops, doesn’t mean that I am angry with you. It means I am busy.

The conversation I had last night with my friend revealed that she had made some assumptions that left her thinking I don’t like her. Based purely on body language she interpreted incorrectly and her own assumptions after that. My main question to her was “why didn’t you ask me what I thought?” and it came to light that the reality of my honesty, scared her.

While that fear is so real, honesty is important. It allows a person to grow, make choices, adjust their perspective even. It allows for vulnerability and openness. Most of all, it provides transparency for both sides!

All of these traits are incredibly important for life, they are also of the utmost importance in Surrogacy. Your role might be an egg donor or a surrogate, either way, truthfulness is top priority. The creation of life is at your fingertips!

When intended parents begin their journey’s they already know what they are looking for. If they’re using an egg donor, they already know they want a brunette with green eyes (as an example). Or possibly someone who is shorter, to mimic the height of one parent. They may have entertained the idea of someone with blonde hair instead. Whatever the case, your honesty alters their life.

When it comes to the contract between a surrogate & her intended parents, so much can get lost in translation. 95% of the communication is done via electronic device – computer, cell phone, tablet, etc – and then to add to that, a large portion of the contract information is passed between two lawyers before it ever reaches the surrogate or intended parents. That is a lot of room for assumptions! The more assumptions you make, the bigger a rift that can form. All because someone assumed something. Its best to be honest and simply ask the question that is on your mind. There will always be fear of insulting someone, hurting someones feelings or possibly sounding rude. I’d rather that though, and getting clarification then letting them assume the worst of me! Who knows, they might surprise you and say “Hey! We were wondering the same thing!” and they might have had the same fears of being rude or insulting to you.

At the end of the day, honesty and truthfulness are a better choice than making an assumption. Be confident…ask, don’t assume!

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source http://www.surrogacyincanada.com/ask-dont-assume/